Have you ever noticed how we each have an internal threshold—a limit where we begin to feel stretched, tested, or even slightly uneasy? That’s the edge of our periphery, the boundary where growth happens if we’re willing to lean in. But push too far past it, and we find ourselves overwhelmed, scattered, or even burnt out.
This concept has been coming up for me in big ways lately. I had an illuminating conversation about how we create and gauge our own periphery—the space between what feels familiar and what challenges us to evolve. More importantly, how we can recognize when we’re reaching that outer edge so we can move with more clarity, rather than reaction.
When we don't have awareness of our limits, we tend to oscillate between pushing too hard and shutting down. We either take on too much and burn out, or we avoid challenge altogether, staying stuck. The key isn’t avoiding discomfort but rather understanding where and how to stretch ourselves in a sustainable way.
The Periphery Gauge: Mapping Our Limits
Let’s visualize this. Imagine a focal point in the center of your mind’s eye—your baseline, the present moment. From this point, picture a straight line extending to the left and right.
- The left side ranges from -10 to 0, representing our internal world—our emotions, subconscious beliefs, and past experiences.
- The right side moves from 1 to 10, representing external action—our tasks, responsibilities, and outward efforts.
Now, somewhere around -7 and 7 is the sweet spot—the place where you’re just at the edge of your comfort zone. It’s that stretch where things still feel manageable but also new—where you’re expanding, but not overextending.
Go beyond that, past -7 or 7, and you’re outside your current capacity. This is where people-pleasing, exhaustion, and overpromising tend to show up. It’s also where we start absorbing things that aren’t really ours to carry—whether it’s other people’s expectations, responsibilities we didn’t consent to, or emotional weight we haven’t had time to process.
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